hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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