There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
