Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize