I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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