things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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