Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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