I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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