we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
