I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
