How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
