hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
