And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
