the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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