sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
