You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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