After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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