just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
