So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
