he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
