Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
