I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drunk is not a location!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
