I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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