Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
