Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
