If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
