i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
