I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
