then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
