i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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