I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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