I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
