i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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