is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
