did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
