Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My vagina is very pro this idea
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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