Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
