Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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