i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
