We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
