Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
