I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
