I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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