she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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