Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
