Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
