the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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