You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
