"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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