I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He? As in you personified your dick?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
