Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
