I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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