Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
