my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
