I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
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