I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
