I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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