Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
