plz talk dirty to me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize