Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize