Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
