4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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