Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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