All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
home. puking in laundry basket.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
