If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
